Bed Days

I'm writing this in one of the moments where the weight of these illnesses on my shoulders really has me down. I preach positivity, but I'm also a realist. Every single person with a chronic illness has bad days- and this is one of mine. 

After waking up with joints so stiff I could barely move, a horrible taste in my dry, sticky mouth, and a headache from hell I quickly tested my blood sugar and blasted myself with an absurd amount of insulin. In the middle of the day I realized it was definitely time to eat something, which even with insulin made my blood sugar soar up again. For 24 hours I have been over 350. If you're a diabetic you know how dangerous that is. My blood is flowing through my veins like glue, food is repulsive to me, and my mood is absolutely horrible.

The flare up from my Rheumatoid Arthritis is causing my joints to flare up, which is causing my blood sugar to rise. The rise in blood sugar is leading to more joint swelling and pain. I'm stuck in a vicious cycle right now and all I can do is give myself insulin, drink a lot of water, and wait it out.

This is not one of those posts with a lovely solution at the end; it is simply a glimpse into my life. If you do not have chronic illnesses, now you know a little bit about how random any day can be. If you do have a chronic illness, then just know you're not alone. We all have those days when we are angry, resentful, scared, annoyed, and any other negative emotion you can think of. All we can do is take care of ourselves the best that we can, have friends and family that understand, and ride it out. 

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