Is it Really that Difficult to be Nice?
So I'm at the gym this morning and I see three women talking. Based on my first impression these three people had been best friends forever. A few minutes later two of them walk into the locker room. One says "Wow she's so fat! And did you see that zit on her face?!" The other responded with "Oh my god! I know! She's so annoying". There are a ridiculous amount of things wrong with this whole encounter, but selfishly, what bothered me most is the way it made me feel. Yes, I felt horrible for the third woman, the one getting slammed behind her back, but I was left feeling so down. I mean, adult bullying... really?
For years I dealt with mean girls. Everyone deals with them, and most of us have even been a mean girl at one point or another. During middle school and high school I dreamed of a time where there would be no backstabbing and women would lift each other up instead of being absolute ass holes. Lately I'm realizing that there are always going to be mean people, and all you can do is be aware of it and try to be better. Letting this negativity into your mind is damaging, to say the least. Toxic encounters, poisonous relationships, and destructive feelings mess with hormones and negatively influence the immune system. New research shows that stress and toxicity shorten our lifespan by causing mutations in DNA. This is bad enough for "normal" people, but for those of us with chronic illnesses it is even more damaging.
Most mean comments and cattiness stem from insecurity. At the same time, these insecurities are further exacerbated by women being... well, bitchy. This is a vicious cycle that needs to stop.
Any person that you've ever felt any animosity towards is that way for a reason. In my case, I was thought of as stuck up and snobby. In reality, I was one of the most awkward and shy people on the planet. Maybe the women this morning were going through something really terrible. Probably not, but you never really know.
Here's my proposal...
Make a list of a few things that you can work on for the week. If you have resting bitch face, make a point of smiling at strangers. When you see someone, acknowledge him or her instead of looking at your phone. And most importantly... stop trash-talking people. It makes ya look bad! :)