A Letter to Diabetes

dear-diabetes-chronically-healthy-blog

Dear Diabetes,

Hey, old friend. We've been together for 18 years now. There have been a lot of highs and lows (literally and figuratively).

I want you know that I hate you, but I also love you. Actually, scratch that. I don't hate you. I used to hate you. Now I dislike you sometimes, but I've learned to love you as well.

Sometimes you treat me horribly, but sometimes it's because I've treated you horribly first. For that, I am sorry. There are times when I let my stressful emotions take over my body, and you start freaking out. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't do that, but hey, stress affects everything and I can't really blame you for that. Sometimes I don't feel like acknowledging you. There are times when 18 years of caring for you all day every day really becomes too much. Sometimes I eat or do something, and ignore you in the process. Again, I'm sorry.

I need you to know that 99% of the time something bad happens with you, it is 100% out of my control. You are affected by my emotions, the weather, my activity level, hormones, and basically anything else you can think of. You're the most high maintenance part of my life.

You should be sorry for taking so much from me, and for making my life extremely freakin' difficult at times, but I also want to thank you for giving me something pretty awesome. You've made me responsible and you've given me a huge heart. You've given me the strength and ability to help others as they go down the path that we have ventured down together. You put me in a position where I had no choice but to become as healthy as possible.

Diabetes, you have also given me patience. Not only with myself, but with others. On a daily basis I am judged for having you as a part of my life. A vast majority of people believe that I have you because of how I treated my body when I was younger. Thank you for giving me the patience, courage, and ability to clearly explain why they are wrong, and that we have no idea why or how you came into my life. You just did.

I spent so many years in an angry, pitiful state. Mad that I had to deal with you, and that you had so much control over me. I'm going to be honest, we have our days where you are very aggressively dominant, and that still makes me mad. Fortunately, those days are far and few in between. I have made so many amazing, positive changes, and most days we are able to exist in harmony.

So, Diabetes, I guess all in all I can say thanks for making me who I am. I love you for that, but feel free to leave any time you want. Someday I am going to end you, and I'm going to LOVE it. Hope you don't take that the wrong way, pal.

See you soon in about five minutes when you bother me for something!

Love,

The girl you've inhabited, bothered, tortured, and turned into a warrior for almost a quarter of a century.